Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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(325): View more from Texas

suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

(864): View more from South Carolina

And I meant every ounce of it.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.

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(586): View more from Michigan

We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.

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