There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
