All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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