whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
