Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
