Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
