id be glad to
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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