apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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