Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
