I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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