Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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