Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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