Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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