Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize