I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
