I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
two words...techno handjob
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
