Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Come on in and take your pants off
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