Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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