I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
