Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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