i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
