Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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