Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
