i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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