Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
