so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
