My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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