What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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