Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
