I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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