Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
