OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
