I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your penis caused this!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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