So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize