I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize