I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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