So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
