did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
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She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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