now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
