I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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