If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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