I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
