evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
