Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
