I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
