i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
