Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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