It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
