Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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