I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
