we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We are all done wearing pants today
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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