why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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