Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize
