she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The air taste purple.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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