DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
