hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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