It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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