Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
youre lurking in front of me
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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