..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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