Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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