oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
