It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
