in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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