So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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