so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
